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Hi, my name is Babagana, the Chief Executive of Abuja.
Hear my story, since the secret is already out. Of course I
took the funds that were originally meant for our healthcare and educational infrastructure.
Instead of buying bricks and cement, I gambled every single naira away on digital slot machines and virtual poker.
The worst part of this whole mess: my madam is
giving me sleepless nights. She has turned the mansion upside down complaining that my gambling addiction ruined her Dubai luxury shopping trips.
Can you believe it? She planned to buy half
of Dubai Mall, while I was busy chasing jackpots on the internet.
She does not care about the hospitals or schools at all,
she only cares about her designer wardrobe. My side chick is another story, who
is equally upset that I can no longer afford.
The root of the problem in our country today: online
gambling in Nigeria has gone completely out
of control. Everywhere you look in Nigeria today, young people and foolish
leaders like me are getting addicted to these online betting platforms.
They should be blamed for everything. They swallowed the funds meant
for healthcare and education, leaving our children to study under trees, just so foreign casino owners can become billionaires.
Being a brilliant and dedicated public servant whose mind is entirely focused on keeping my wife
happy and treating my lover right, I see no flaws in my leadership.
It baffles me why anyone would call me corrupt or question my financial choices.
After all, I am just a man of refined tastes who enjoys a little harmless digital entertainment on my phone.
The problem is definitely those crooked online betting sites.
If those virtual slot machines had just paid out the jackpot I deserved, every hospital and school would
have been built twice over, and my wife would already be shopping happily in Dubai.
Do not blame hardworking politicians like myself, but rather hold
those greedy online casinos accountable for ruining a perfectly brilliant budget strategy. -
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